It’s amazing going from “am I crazy?” “This isn’t normal!” “What’s wrong with me?” To getting a diagnosis. Then getting instant support.
Last week’s blog brought me a new appreciation for the community, and the small world in which we live. The corresponding link on my professional Facebook page received 109 comments, it was shared 58 times, liked more than 160 times and according to FB Insights had a reach of more than 37,000 people. For an anchor in a mid-size television market, those numbers are above average.
Personal messages started coming in from close friends and even former coworkers. They, too, are dealing with endo. The comments on my professional Facebook post came from viewers who shared their endo experiences… I learned more about a group people on the other side of the lens in one weekend than I’ve learned in quite a long time. These viewers are my invisible friends… a support group that I didn’t know was there.
Suggestions started coming in about blogs. Some I have looked at, some I will look at in the future. One woman, Lisa, reached out immediately on Facebook. She has a blog
Bloomin’ Uterus, and it’s provided really good information. Friday, just six days after my original blog post, I received a beautiful letter from Lisa — a fellow “endo sister” who is behind Bloomin’ Uterus with a gorgeous sentiment and pins of … Bloomin’ uter … i? Uter … uses? (Just looked it up: the plural is uteri.)
I cannot thank you enough for your positive support, and encouragement!
DAY ONE - NO BIG DEAL:
Okay, so Monday was the day I got my Depot Lupron shot. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Just FYI, the shot goes into the toosh. Fanny. Derrière. In my notes from an hour-long phone call with Abbvie preceding the treatment, Depot Lupron is a gonadatropin releasing hormone to suppress estrogen. For the first two weeks, I’ll have a surge of estrogen, which will then shock my body into thinking I have too much, so my body will stop producing estrogen.
My doctor also had me continue taking birth control pills for the first week. Because of insurance… the time it would take to get the Rx delivered to the office… and my body’s normal timing — I should have been on the sugar pills in my birth control pack this week. But our goal is to stop my period. We’d missed the “sweet spot” for the shot. So, I started a new month of pills, and only took one week’s worth.
DAY TWO - GIVE ME A STEAK:
I can’t remember the last time I *craved a steak. So Tuesday’s dinner is being chalked up to hormone fluctuation. Not only did I crave red meat. I wanted a big, fat, juicy steak. Mind you, I don’t cook. Can bake up a storm, but cooking??? Well, not my strong suit. This night… I went to the market with the express intent on buying myself what ended up being an eight ounce, organic, bison strip loin steak. Oh. I don’t own a barbecue. I have a George Foreman.
But that’s not what I want my eight ounce, organic, bison strip loin steak cooked on. Get home from market. Open Pinterest. Search how to cook strip steak. And boy, did I cook it. O. M. G. And for a side I had three feta stuffed olives. Huh. Interesting combo.
Tuesday night sleep pattern: woke up three times.
DAY THREE - WHAT? I’M COOKING AGAIN?!?!
After a fitful night’s sleep, my dog Hollywood woke me up at about five in the morning. And the weirdest thing happened. I wanted to cook… again. I literally walked pajama clad into my kitchen, started brewing a cup of coffee, and while the Keurig was sputtering its final drops into my mug I had my back leaning up against the island looking out my kitchen window. On a decorative plate just to the right of the window sat an onion that, if I waited one or two more days, would start to go bad. And the internal voice in my head said, "Why don't I take this onion and caramelize it? That sounds good.”
One cup of coffee down and then this: "What tastes good with caramelized onions? Toasted pine nuts! Yeah, let's do that.” Half a cup of coffee later? "Hmmm. Now I'm hungry. How do I make breakfast out of this? Eggs. I need eggs."
Randomly add feta cheese and this is the most successful, unplanned morning meal I've ever had!!!
Wednesday night sleep pattern: woke up several times.
DAY FOUR - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? FIRST MOOD SWING.
Another fitful night’s sleep. I woke up about an hour before my scheduled workout. Didn’t eat enough calories beforehand (at least that’s what I’m blaming), because my workout STUNK. I felt drained. I felt hot. I felt lazy. But. This was the first Thursday workout I’ve made it to during what would’ve been my period week in months. This was a win.
What wasn’t a win? My afternoon attitude. Later Thursday night I called “The Man” and literally said, “Well… I think I had my first mood swing.” He chuckled in response, “Who was the victim?” Naming one of the hardest working people I’ve ever known in the business, I explained how stupid I was. The disagreement in the newsroom was over what to call a certain square block in town. Was it south Reno? Was it southwest Reno? I was going to call it one thing, others had never heard the area called that. When I said that’s what my friends call it, Hard-Worker jokingly said, “your friends are stupid.” (We joke like this all the time in the newsroom. No matter what’s said on TV, a newsroom isn’t always PC.) I. Saw. White. Literally. There was a ringing in my ears. And I shot back. Although, there was no jovial tone. It was not nice. It was pure bitch. And TRULY, I don’t know exactly what I said! This is what I was telling The Man, “I honestly have no idea what I said! I know the f-word was used. But was it f-you? Was it f-off? And why did I get so mad???” At that instant at work I turned to my computer screen and asked myself, “What was that?!?!?!” Kept my mouth quiet for quite a while, because I knew I was in the wrong. And I knew I had to get a handle on myself. I need to keep myself in check. Need to do better.
Thursday night sleep pattern: popped a 3mg Melatonin. Funky dreams!!!
DAY FIVE - NO BIG DEAL.
Well, after two nights of not sleeping well, I woke up with a Melatonin hangover. Had the alarm set for five in the morning. Yeah. That didn’t happen. But the sleep was needed.
I’m starting to notice that I’m not using my space heater underneath my desk as much. By the way, our newsroom is freezing. In fact, our morning meteorologist was joking the other day that she had gone to the supermarket on her lunch break wearing a sweatshirt. In the middle of summer. In Reno. She was questioned whether the weather was going to get bad, and she had to explain that no, our building is just always freezing cold. Well, in that freezing building, I’m not using my space heater as much. Is it because we are in the middle of July in Reno? Probably. Am I thinking too much about it because of how much I’ve researched all the side effects like hot flashes. Probably. Have I broken out into a sweat yet? Nope.
Friday night sleep pattern: slept like a baby.
DAY SIX - MORE RED MEAT, PLEASE!
The Man and I went out to dinner and a movie. I ordered myself a full rack of ribs!
Things are definitely different, considering I only have red meat about four times a year.
By the way — we saw Magic Mike XXL. I will never look at Michael Strahan the same way again!!!
Saturday night sleep pattern: slept like a baby.
DAY SEVEN - MORE RED MEAT AND MORE COOKING… UHHH, WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?
Breakfast was finishing off the rack of ribs. I had planned on eating those ribs for a day or two. They are all gone. And they were delicious!
It’s Sunday. I’m cleaning house, watching movies… and decided to try a new recipe. A dog biscuit recipe. They turned out very well. But again, I’m surprised by the fact that the kitchen appliances were getting used once again. Hollywood doesn’t seem to mind. Hopefully these treats will work as a bribe to prevent her from waking me up early tomorrow!