Week Two: What a Wild Ride!

Oooohhh, what an interesting week this one has been!  How do I begin?  If I thought there was tremendous support last week? ... It's nothing compared to the past seven days.

Day Eight (Monday, July 20, 2015):

My week started off awesome, in the best way possible: a kick a*$ workout.  It's one of those gifts that, I feel, more people need to give themselves.  It's okay to give yourself an hour, a few days a week. It's for your health.  That's what this whole blog/journey thing is about: sharing information about health.  And when things get stressful? Man, there's nothing better than taking it out on inanimate objects in the gym. And there's no better cheerleader (oh, man, he's going to kill me for calling him that!) than my trainer Thomas Wetzstein. (Pronounced Toe-más Wet-like-a-beer-stein.) A first-generation German love. Who kicks my butt. And I tell him, as long as he can make it look like J. Lo's butt, have at me.  We have been working together for about five years. Looking back, it's just another sign that things weren't right when I regularly started canceling on him during menstruation.

Well, last week was week one.  I'd been warned that I may menstruate, or at least have some endo symptoms during week one or week two.  Week one was a breeze.  I faced this week thinking, "Bring it, Mother Nature!"

I started the week like a warrior. Thomas had me dead lifting a max weight of 150 pounds. Not my personal best, but dang near close to it.  And I hadn't lifted that much in quite a while.  So it felt good.  Walked out of the gym on the first day of the week pumped, and ready for whatever was in store.

Day Nine (Tuesday, July 21, 2015):

Tuesday was going along just fine. No body issues.  Feeling great.  No roller coaster of emotions.  Honestly, this day would've gone down with just a sentence. Until I read the e-mail.  It's not unusual for news anchors to get mail criticizing the work we do. In fact, for women, it's quite common.  I received one Monday night that I didn't read until Tuesday.  In all honesty, the e-mail is quite funny.  The troll was definitely trying to be hurtful.  In the end, I want to thank whoever was behind the letter, as it created a tidal wave of support. I happened to take a screen shot of the e-mail, and posted it onto my professional Facebook page.  My post got picked up by arguably the most recognizable male news anchor on the west coast, and he posted the e-mail on his professional Facebook page.  It took off from there.  Again, I just want to say "thank you" to everyone who has been so supportive throughout this journey.

Day Ten (Wednesday, July 22, 2015):

No body issues. Feeling great.  No roller coaster of emotions.

Day Eleven (Thursday, July 23, 2015):

Menstruation started.

Day Twelve (Friday, July 24, 2015):

Menstruation ended in the afternoon, but endo cramping began.  The Man and I don't live together, and he'd never really experienced a night of endo cramping.  I didn't sleep at all Friday night (and while he said he did sleep, The Man was yawning all day Saturday.)  About every half hour I'd get a stomach cramp with gurgling.  There really wasn't a way to ease the pain, so I'd ride it out by putting my face down in the pillow, and sitting on my knees or I'd lay in the fetal position. The kindest gesture was feeling his hands rubbing the small of my back. And he did this often throughout the night.  This cramping lasted a good 24 hours, and was deep.  While it wasn't as bad as the cramping that sent me to the doctor to begin with, it was bad.  I'd say it was 80-90% the pain that I felt in June.

Day Thirteen (Saturday, July 25, 2015):

Fatigued.  Hurting.  Hungry.  Throwing up.  All the time.  Cramping continued.  Thinking was impossible.  My mom and dad called me asking to walk them through how to drag songs from iTunes onto their iPhones, and I couldn't even explain it.  The Man worked, so I was home alone with the dogs for the better part of the day.  Tried to make up for the lack of sleep from Friday night, but with the continued cramping, and add in the fact that I'm now throwing up, and it just wasn't a pretty day.  I threw up about five times (with each time having three to five yaks.)

Day Fourteen (Sunday, July 26, 2015):

What? I was under the weather? Huh. Could've fooled me!  Feeling fine today.  Occasional stomach gurgles without the cramping. Residual headaches, and I think that's from being dehydrated.  But I'm making up for it.  Drinking lots of fluids... Oh, and I'm baking again!  This time? Pumpkin Cornbread.

Week One: Tremendous Support

It’s amazing going from “am I crazy?” “This isn’t normal!” “What’s wrong with me?” To getting a diagnosis. Then getting instant support.

Last week’s blog brought me a new appreciation for the community, and the small world in which we live.  The corresponding link on my professional Facebook page received 109 comments, it was shared 58 times, liked more than 160 times and according to FB Insights had a reach of more than 37,000 people.  For an anchor in a mid-size television market, those numbers are above average.

Personal messages started coming in from close friends and even former coworkers.  They, too, are dealing with endo.  The comments on my professional Facebook post came from viewers who shared their endo experiences… I learned more about a group people on the other side of the lens in one weekend than I’ve learned in quite a long time.  These viewers are my invisible friends… a support group that I didn’t know was there.  

Suggestions started coming in about blogs.  Some I have looked at, some I will look at in the future.  One woman, Lisa, reached out immediately on Facebook.  She has a blog Bloomin’ Uterus, and it’s provided really good information. Friday, just six days after my original blog post, I received a beautiful letter from Lisa — a fellow “endo sister” who is behind Bloomin’ Uterus with a gorgeous sentiment and pins of … Bloomin’ uter … i?  Uter … uses? (Just looked it up: the plural is uteri.) 

I cannot thank you enough for your positive support, and encouragement!

DAY ONE - NO BIG DEAL:

Okay, so Monday was the day I got my Depot Lupron shot.  I honestly didn’t know what to expect.  Just FYI, the shot goes into the toosh.  Fanny.  Derrière.  In my notes from an hour-long phone call with Abbvie preceding the treatment, Depot Lupron is a gonadatropin releasing hormone to suppress estrogen.  For the first two weeks, I’ll have a surge of estrogen, which will then shock my body into thinking I have too much, so my body will stop producing estrogen.  

My doctor also had me continue taking birth control pills for the first week.  Because of insurance… the time it would take to get the Rx delivered to the office… and my body’s normal timing — I should have been on the sugar pills in my birth control pack this week.  But our goal is to stop my period.  We’d missed the “sweet spot” for the shot.  So, I started a new month of pills, and only took one week’s worth.  

DAY TWO - GIVE ME A STEAK:

I can’t remember the last time I *craved a steak. So Tuesday’s dinner is being chalked up to hormone fluctuation.  Not only did I crave red meat.  I wanted a big, fat, juicy steak.  Mind you, I don’t cook.  Can bake up a storm, but cooking??? Well, not my strong suit.  This night… I went to the market with the express intent on buying myself what ended up being an eight ounce, organic, bison strip loin steak.  Oh.  I don’t own a barbecue.  I have a George Foreman.  

But that’s not what I want my eight ounce, organic, bison strip loin steak cooked on.  Get home from market.  Open Pinterest.  Search how to cook strip steak.  And boy, did I cook it.  O.  M.  G.  And for a side I had three feta stuffed olives.  Huh.  Interesting combo.

Tuesday night sleep pattern: woke up three times.

DAY THREE - WHAT? I’M COOKING AGAIN?!?!

After a fitful night’s sleep, my dog Hollywood woke me up at about five in the morning.  And the weirdest thing happened.  I wanted to cook… again.  I literally walked pajama clad into my kitchen, started brewing a cup of coffee, and while the Keurig was sputtering its final drops into my mug I had my back leaning up against the island looking out my kitchen window.  On a decorative plate just to the right of the window sat an onion that, if I waited one or two more days, would start to go bad.  And the internal voice in my head said, "Why don't I take this onion and caramelize it? That sounds good.”  

One cup of coffee down and then this: "What tastes good with caramelized onions? Toasted pine nuts! Yeah, let's do that.”  Half a cup of coffee later? "Hmmm. Now I'm hungry. How do I make breakfast out of this? Eggs. I need eggs."

Randomly add feta cheese and this is the most successful, unplanned morning meal I've ever had!!!

Wednesday night sleep pattern: woke up several times.

DAY FOUR - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? FIRST MOOD SWING.

Another fitful night’s sleep.  I woke up about an hour before my scheduled workout.  Didn’t eat enough calories beforehand (at least that’s what I’m blaming), because my workout STUNK.  I felt drained.  I felt hot.  I felt lazy.  But.  This was the first Thursday workout I’ve made it to during what would’ve been my period week in months.  This was a win.

What wasn’t a win? My afternoon attitude.  Later Thursday night I called “The Man” and literally said, “Well… I think I had my first mood swing.”  He chuckled in response, “Who was the victim?”  Naming one of the hardest working people I’ve ever known in the business, I explained how stupid I was.  The disagreement in the newsroom was over what to call a certain square block in town.  Was it south Reno? Was it southwest Reno?  I was going to call it one thing, others had never heard the area called that.  When I said that’s what my friends call it, Hard-Worker jokingly said, “your friends are stupid.” (We joke like this all the time in the newsroom.  No matter what’s said on TV, a newsroom isn’t always PC.)  I.  Saw.  White.  Literally.  There was a ringing in my ears.  And I shot back.  Although, there was no jovial tone.  It was not nice.  It was pure bitch.  And TRULY, I don’t know exactly what I said!  This is what I was telling The Man, “I honestly have no idea what I said! I know the f-word was used.  But was it f-you? Was it f-off? And why did I get so mad???”  At that instant at work I turned to my computer screen and asked myself, “What was that?!?!?!”  Kept my mouth quiet for quite a while, because I knew I was in the wrong.  And I knew I had to get a handle on myself.  I need to keep myself in check.  Need to do better.  

Thursday night sleep pattern: popped a 3mg Melatonin.  Funky dreams!!!

DAY FIVE - NO BIG DEAL.

Well, after two nights of not sleeping well, I woke up with a Melatonin hangover.  Had the alarm set for five in the morning.  Yeah.  That didn’t happen. But the sleep was needed.  

I’m starting to notice that I’m not using my space heater underneath my desk as much.  By the way, our newsroom is freezing.  In fact, our morning meteorologist was joking the other day that she had gone to the supermarket on her lunch break wearing a sweatshirt.  In the middle of summer.  In Reno.  She was questioned whether the weather was going to get bad, and she had to explain that no, our building is just always freezing cold.  Well, in that freezing building, I’m not using my space heater as much.  Is it because we are in the middle of July in Reno? Probably.  Am I thinking too much about it because of how much I’ve researched all the side effects like hot flashes.  Probably.  Have I broken out into a sweat yet? Nope.

Friday night sleep pattern: slept like a baby.

DAY SIX - MORE RED MEAT, PLEASE!

The Man and I went out to dinner and a movie.  I ordered myself a full rack of ribs!  

Things are definitely different, considering I only have red meat about four times a year.  

By the way — we saw Magic Mike XXL.  I will never look at Michael Strahan the same way again!!! 

Saturday night sleep pattern: slept like a baby.

DAY SEVEN - MORE RED MEAT AND MORE COOKING… UHHH, WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

Breakfast was finishing off the rack of ribs.  I had planned on eating those ribs for a day or two.  They are all gone.  And they were delicious! 

It’s Sunday.  I’m cleaning house, watching movies… and decided to try a new recipe.  A dog biscuit recipe.  They turned out very well.  But again, I’m surprised by the fact that the kitchen appliances were getting used once again.  Hollywood doesn’t seem to mind.  Hopefully these treats will work as a bribe to prevent her from waking me up early tomorrow!

Endometriosis: My Diagnosis and Treatment

The tipping point was June 19, 2015. That Friday morning the pain wouldn't subside. Standing up straight was impossible. Not wanting to call in sick for about the fifth month in a row, I decided to bring a heating pad to work. It was so humiliating to answer "What's wrong, Sarah? Why the heating pad? Did you work out too hard?" Uh, no. My cramps are debilitating... Talk about making a man's face pale!

That day I called my doctor's office to make an appointment. 

Endometriosis is not a death sentence. However, not treating it could kill the one thing I want more than anything: to one day birth a baby of my own. 

It took that Friday after having the heating pad on my abdomen all day; after having to rest in the green room for an hour; after putting on the dress I planned to wear during that night's newscasts -- only for the dress to be too tight because of massive bloating... After all that, I finally called.  The clincher was walking out of the bathroom stall in the dress, and looking at a coworker with panic because the bloat went from my underwire to my pelvic bone.  We got a good laugh.  It looked like I was in the third trimester of pregnancy.  But.  Something.  Wasn't.  Right.

The signs had been there. Why had I let the symptoms go so far? Three months ago, the Executive Producer sent me home because I couldn't stand up straight anchoring the 4:30pm newscast.  Two months ago, I'd vomited during menstruation.  After researching endometriosis, I realized the symptoms weren't recent. They were just recently becoming so bad, being an active member of society wasn't possible for one or two days a month. 

Truly, it was possibly a year and a half after my "lighter" symptoms began: like almost fainting while working out during menstruation.  The yo-yo between constipation and diarrhea.  Stomach gurgling.  Serious. Stomach. Gurgling.  The kind others could hear when they stood two feet away.  That's hot. Pain during sex.  (Inward gasp. Yes, I'm going there.) Fifteen years ago I was told I had a tipped uterus, which may cause pain during sex.  So, when/if things got uncomfortable, I just attributed it to the fact my womb was going the wrong way.  Just today I looked up tipped uterus again, lo and behold guess what?  According to americanpregnancy.org a tipped uterus can occur from scarring as a result of endometriosis.  So what came first, the chicken or the egg?

Endometriosis is something I'd read scripts about in the past.  It is a term I think women have heard of, but don't know too much about.  In going on those medical websites I've learned it's very common.  Especially with women in their 30s and 40s who haven't yet had children. 

So what is it?  Your uterus has a lining.  That mucus membrane is called endometrium.  With endometriosis that membrane somehow gets elsewhere in your body, and attaches to other places/organs.  But once a month, it reacts just how the endometrium inside your womb is acting -- and is anticipating an egg to attach.  When that doesn't happen, the endometrium everywhere in your body "sheds" or bleeds.  But that shedding doesn't escape like the endometrium inside your uterus can, through your vagina, which causes a period.  The endometriosis sheds where it's located and, essentially, is floating around inside your body. (http://1.usa.gov/1GewXKi)

The good news: there is treatment.  My doctor and I have chosen to not do surgery.  Instead, on Monday July 13, 2015 he is going to give me a drug called Depot Lupron.  It will put me into menopause.  At 37 years old I'm going to go through menopause.  On purpose.  Hot flashes and all.  He says Depot Lupron is the gold standard of treatment, and in essence, it's like spraying Round Up on weeds.  Since I won't have a lot of estrogen in my body, that hormone won't feed the endometrium in my body... and the endometriosis that has attached outside of my womb (where it isn't supposed to be) will die, while the endometrium inside my womb can be "restarted." 

So let's go back to why I'm writing this blog.  First, my doctor wants me to journal.  Second, other websites/posts that I've found about "endo" make it sound, well, dramatic.  I want to keep it real.  Want to provide information for those who may be researching it while I continue to simultaneously do so.  And I want a forum.  If you've been through it, please comment.  If I'm freaking out and emotional, please understand.  And thank you, all, for taking the time to read this!

I am not a medical professional.  Do not use this blog for diagnosis. If you have any concerns about your menstrual cycle please call your doctor!